One Month Already???

Sitting down today to study for Sunday's lesson I realized that it has been a month since the boys have been home and Jon and I have not posted anything on the blog! Such is life and a whirlwind at that...Amazed and so in love as I sit down and reflect on these last several weeks.

September 26, 2013: Aaron, Rebecca, JJ and myself pack up and head to the airport around 3pm. We wanted to try to beat the traffic downtown. We did our best, but of corse there were 3 accidents and all lanes closed except one!! Freaking out just a bit, we did not make it to camp creek pkwy until 6ish... Jon and the boys arrival was scheduled to be in at 6:50pm...
We parked, ran in and waited at the ropes at the top of the escalator in the Atlanta Airpot just excited as can be and pretty much about to explode with HAPPY TEARS!
We waited and waited... Person after person we watch being united with their loved ones at the top of the escalator... But where were Jon, Gary, and Willy??? The kids and I scan the herds of people and can not find them at all... I spot some strange man that just walked up "a little too close" behind Aaron out of the corner of my eye, as I turn to "politely create more space" between that man and Aaron all of a sudden my heart leaps!!!! It is Jon!! And Gary and Willy had been standing directly behind us the whole time!!! Ahhhhhh!!!

Joy-joy- joy- joy, are the only words to describe the several moments of life that I will never ever forget! The hugs, the laughter, the reuniting of family and the happiness of embracing your child for the very first time is a rush of emotions I can't find words to describe... It's like the birth of a newborn and you take that first look at them and you are hooked.... enamored, melted, broken, alive, and so full of that four letter word called Love that you know that you would do anything in the world for that new child you have the honor to call your very own....

This last month has been a ride I don't want to get off. We are learning new things, teaching each other, laughing and crying. We have been finding a new groove to call "normal", and being taught "different" is good! I am in love with the "chinglish" language that is an ongoing tune throughout the house. So far my most favorite part is sitting back, being silent, and watching the kids "learn" each other... I love seeing how they work out disagreements. I love how they make up new games. I so enjoy seeing them help each other and work out the barrier call "language"!
So much has been learned in four weeks. So much about who we are, what we believe, and where we truly place our trust. In ourselves or in our Savior we call Father.

Dear amazing God,
Teach me more and more about how You love. Thank you for the privilege of being a mother to Aaron, Rebecca, Jason, Gary, and Willy. Help me to honor you in all that I do. I love you and surrender my whole life to you and all that is in it... this is my offering.
Amen

Day 8... ASLAN

Day 8

With the weather being so poor, we ate breakfast this morning and then the boys decided they wanted to watch a movie back in the room. Willy chose The Chronicles of Narnia.

They have seen the movie before at the institute, but Willy and Gary didn't seem to realize the parallel between Narnia and Jesus. 

I paused the movie just as Aslan was walking at night to the stone table after trading his life for Edmunds life.  I told both Gary and Willy that this is what Jesus did for us, and then showed them Galatians 3:26,27 and John 3:16. Gary said, "OHHH!!!!!" In a "light bulb moment" sort of way. 
Willy said, "ok".

As we went through the movie, and Aslan is killed, the camera pans out and up above the stone table, showing Aslan's dead body on the table.

All of the sudden...Willy says, "STOP STOP STOP!!!!"

I pause the movie and Willy traces back to the scene of Aslan on the stone table.  He then points at the screen, but can't get out what he is wanting to say.  He takes his hand and literally points out the 4 sets of stairs that lead to the stone table and shows how they make a cross!  He was proud of himself!  I was more proud of him, as I had never even noticed that before.  I am not certain it was ever meant to be noticed until now.  As simple as that seems, I pray that the Holy Spirit will work in Willy's life and reveal Jesus even through a movie.  Remember, Isaiah found that God does not always reveal himself in the big, loud, boisterous ways, but sometimes in the soft, still wind...or even in a movie.  Yep, He's that good.

Today is free day, so we went for a walk.  We had to go to the grocery store to get some water.  It is not wise to drink the tap water here, so bottled water it is.  We purchased a couple of waters and headed back to the room. 

As we were walking back, we passed a homeless man who was digging through the trash.  We stopped, turned around, and gave him one of the two waters we had. The boys said, "That was very good.  He is very poor.  He needed water."  Then Gary pointed up to the sky and said, "Yesu saw us do that."  I said "yes", but then I stopped walking and made the boys stop walking.  In a very animated way, I said, "Yesu does this......."
I pointed to the sky.  I then made a huge swooping sound and gesture down to my heart.  Then, as a Mortal Kombat character would do, I made a huge sweeping motion from my heart to that man we gave the water to.  I told the boys, "Yesu comes down to my heart.  Yesu then goes to others and helps others through us."
You see, it's not about attainment.  It is about conduit.  Become useful by being useful.  Be useful by surrendering to God every part of your life, so that you will be used as HE sees fit.

They said they understood my little charades, hopefully again a light bulb moment.

We are learning so much while here in Guangzhou. 

Day 7.. Big Blue

Day 7

I love these boys.

With Super Typhoon Usagi bearing down on Hong Kong, and soon to be on us as well, we went to get the boys their vaccinations today.  Super scary experience for the boys.  Willy was very nervous.  They both did very well though.

With the rain coming down outside, we decided to watch a movie.  After asking about fourteen people on the streets of Guangzhou, we found our way to the theater.  This is Willy's first movie ever, and he really didn't understand where we were trying to go.

If sarcasm is the mask of fear, then I adorned myself with the entire costume as well.  I sarcastically told the boys, "Dad's got this!".  I mean really, how hard can it be!  And then it happened....

口感幻想午饭目标区域叶子大学干脆囗世界竹林正是上海十五千年申请冉冉井冈山小时候升至井冈山曲井冈山

That's all I saw.

 I was looking for Monster's University 3D and knew exactly what I was looking for.  Now all I had to do was find it.  It was time to draw on the years of the game "Memory" I had played as a kid.  This very moment is what all of that intensive training was for. Trying to remember what Chinese Characters I learned through Rosetta Stone and "Chinese with Mike" and piece them together to find "Monster's University!"......

Putting my finger on it was scarier than touching an electrical wire that  you are not sure is hot or not. 

I CAN DO THIS!!  I AM MEIGUO (American)!!!  And I found it!!  I really did!!!  Whew Hew!!  Monster's University!!  Insecurity bred fear, fear bred reason, reason bred confidence, confidence bred a choice, the right choice.  Full of pride and self worth I walked into the theater, sat down, and enjoyed my boys.  **sigh** I love being so smart. :)

I so enjoy Monster's Inc.  Sully the big blue guy.  He is my favorite!  Commercial is almost over....waiting for Sully.....YES!!!  Blue!!!!.......now looking for Green....I love Mike too.....

......................**huh**...........another blue.  Then another, then another, then another. 

Oh Great!!  If the Smurf's weren't bad enough!  Now I've got to sit through Smurf's 2!!!!  In 3D?!?!!

Wha-- But I--I mean!-----Ugh!!

Agonized, sick, depressed, defeated, beaten, questioning the very existence of life itself.  How could this have happened?!?  As a duck in water, I glance over at my boys, smiled, and looked back at the screen, all the while, beneath the surface, in complete frustration and panic.

How could the 15 year old kid behind the counter let me buy the wrong movie, even though that's the one I asked for?  How could the guy at the door let me walk into a movie I never intended to see?  Ugh!!

But then it just hit me, while I was exchanging the 3D glasses I had broken for new 3D glasses....

We too will be allowed to make the wrong decisions in life. We think that if we start anywhere at the base of a mountain, eventually, we will reach the top.  Many will take different routes, some tripping along the way, and some falling, but hopefully only to get back up on the path and continue to strive for the summit. 

But just as I walked in with a disgusting amount of confidence, we too are in danger of confidently walking through life, only to find ourselves completely in the opposite direction at the very end.  One thing could have saved me from these little blue....things that Azriel should have eaten back in the 80's.  Being floored with the realization I needed too not only be able to read Chinese, but to also understand Chinese!!

We must not only read, but understand the Word in order to obey it.  In order to do what it says.
And who brings understanding? 
That wonderful eunuch in Acts 8 had no idea.  He even told Philip as he read the scriptures, that he had no idea.  So Philip, full of the Holy Spirit, explained it.  The Holy Spirit revealed and a eunuch on that day became my brother.

Oh how I pray that the Holy Spirit will make himself known to Willy. That one day can he understand why we pray at breakfast, lunch, dinner, bed, and through out the day.  I can explain it to him until I am blue (pun) in the face, but the Holy Spirit must draw, reveal, and provide understanding. 

Pray that the Holy Spirit reveals Himself to this boy, our boy, our son. 

"Our understanding of who God is and who we are drastically affects our understanding of who Christ is and why we need him." -David Platt

Father, please show 张鹏旭, Zhang PengXu, William Thomas Allen, Willy....wow, so many people he has been in a short 13 years, but Father, please show him now whoYOU always intended him to be.
All glory to you.

Day 6 "Show me your Muscles!"

Day 6

We are headed to the Zhengzhou airport right now.  We are flying to GuangZhou today, 650 miles to the SW, where the US Consulate is located.  Here, the boys will receive their citizenship, shots, and international adoption clearance. 

We have been getting along so well!  Anyone one with boys will appreciate the bonding bodily gases can bring!  And Willy, he can bring some bonding!  Wow oh wow!  But the boys just roll and think that it is so funny.  We have had the best time!

Yesterday was free day and it was the mid autumn celebration which means everyone gathers at the Yellow River to eat moon cake.

The boys were not interested, so we stayed in Zhengzhou and walked around.  For lunch, I ate bullfrog.  Not fried, and not just the legs, but any edible or closely edible part of a bullfrog.  The boys would have no part in it, but it was an opportunity to show them whose the man is in our house :)

I believe that was my first and last bullfrog.

Afterwards, we went back to the room and watched some TV.  I looked down and saw that Willy's shoes were worn down all the way to the foam.  There is basically no tread left.  Now granted, teenage boys, not uncommon, but he has had these shoes for some time.  His toes are bending to stay in them.  Never a complaint from him though.  We will be getting him some shoes when we arrive in Guangzhou. I am responsible now for this situation, but someone else has seen our boys in this situation before and has put their stamp of approval on it.  It is a sobering reminder that these boys would qualify as the least of these.  

Gideon was a least of these kind of person wasn't he?  And David, he too was a least of these.  

"Counted Out" would have been an appropriate label for both of these mighty men to wear.

But that is who God delights in.  Everyone expects Superman to save the day, but nobody expects Frodo Baggins to save middle earth.  

Everybody expected the Pharisees to speak with authority, but not Peter. He was a nobody, just a fisherman, until you get to Acts.  Then he es En Fuego!!!  

The weak become strong!  In our weakness, by the Holy Spirit, He becomes strong.

Oh pray these boys become strong.  They are so desperate, depraved...weak.  Lord, please use them in your will.  By human standards, they are ready, but I pray you ready their hearts.  Do not allow them to forget their grass roots as Saul did, but help them to always remember, as David did, where they came from and how you brought them up.

D.L. Moody said, "When God wants to move a mountain, he does not take a bar of iron, but he takes a little worm. The fact is, we have too much strength. We are not weak enough. It is not our strength that we want. One drop of God's strength is worth more than all the world."

Erwin Lutzer said, "You become stronger only when you become weaker. When you surrender your will to God, you discover the resources to do what God requires."

And oh!  How appropriate is this!!  China's very own To-Sheng Nee, Watchman Nee said this, "God's means of delivering us from sin is not by making us stronger and stronger, but by making us weaker and weaker. That is surely rather a peculiar way of victory, you say; but it is the divine way. God sets us free from the dominion of sin, not by strengthening our old man but by crucifying him; not by helping him to do anything, but by removing him from the scene of action."

And our God reminds us in Habbakuk 1:11, "...they are deeply guilty,for their own strength is their god.” 

Why in the world would weakness be preferable, and honestly the only way.  Because our God is a jealous God and he does not share in His glory, yet is glory through our weakness. 

Kyle Idleman said it best when he said, "God does not want first place.  He demands the only place.  There is no first or second. There is only one place, and He must be the occupant.  Staggering.

So as I am currently at 30,000 feet above China, somewhere between  Guangzhou and Zhengzhou, and sandwiched between two motion sick boys, I pray that these young men will seek after you in passionate pursuit, with a life, fully surrendered to you.  Aligned with your goodness, I ask that you breathe into them your life changing Spirit and become powerful through them.  

 

You have my surrendered life. I pray that you have theirs.

“All God’s giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they believed that God would be with them.” - J Hudson Taylor, missionary to China

Day 5... "Show me the money!"

Today is our last day in Zhengzhou.  We have a free day and walked around for a while, did a little bit of shopping, and came back to the room to watch Kung Fu movies.

The boys are very conscious of money and how much things cost.  On our very first day together, I gave  each of them 100 RMB each.  Wide eyed, they refused to take it as they have never had that much money, but I insisted and they kept it.  100¥ RMB is $16.33 USD.

Every time we eat, or I buy them something small, they want to use their money, instead of allowing me to pay for them.  I assure them that I will be paying for it, showing them that they are now provided for.

Today, we went to Walmart, China style.  It is basically an open air market with all kinds of live fish, crabs, and other oddities swimming around. Where most Walmarts have "pallet drops" of high fructose, preservative ridden treats, this Walmart has mounds and mounds of grains, meats, fruits, and Durian fruit.  I showed the boys the Durian fruit,  had them smell it, and they hated it!

I purchased three drinks, several packs of gum, and several things of candy to take back to Aaron, Rebecca, and JJ.  It came to.....116¥. The boys were going crazy that I would spend $18 on that stuff.  They wouldn't stop talking about it.  

It hit me that this is exactly what Phillippians 4:19 refers to when Paul says, "but my God will supply all your needs according to his riches  in glory by Christ Jesus".

God does not give out of his riches to us.  If that were the case, we would have missed the age out date for both of the adoptions as we just couldn't have had the money in time.  But he does not give us out of His riches, does he.  He is much more than that.  He provides according to His riches.  His riches are immense, innumerable, and he says, "see all I have?  It is yours.  For you are not paid servants, but my adopted children.  What is mine is yours."

The boys think that 100¥ is a lot?  They have no idea how they are going to be provided for, just as all five of our children. 

We have received so very little from what our Father can and wants to provide to us and we stand back with our mouths gaping, and in our minds and in our hearts, limit the powerful provision of God.

If the boys ask, I will tell them how much Home Depot pays me each year, and  it has a limit.  The funds abound in comparison to what they have known, but use too much and it runs out.

Not so with our Father.  His provision is endless.  Think what you will, but I am sitting in China right now with two boys God provided to us in a short six months, with two fully funded adoptions.  Don't tell me this is not God and this is all He can do.  This is nothing for Him.  He is that big, that great, that much beyond words. The only appropriate response at this point is on my knees, at his feet, giving honor and praise and glory to the God of it all.  

Only at this point have I reported for duty and aligned myself with the will of God.  

 "It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires which He creates” 

-Amy Carmichael

But, do not misinterpret what I write.  This is not blab it and grab it theology. "Trust God to provide and you get everything you ever wanted". Absolutely not.  But everything to Him and for Him forever and always.  Just as Watchman Nee said,

“I want nothing for myself;

I want everything for the Lord.”

-Watchman Nee

To serve the God who lives and breathes inside of me (Galatians 2:20) is to now allow what he has always intended, to benefit others through this servant, and He brings Himself the glory.

Day 4....A SEED & KUNG FU

Day 4

First one to get there has the right of way.  Car, truck, woman with child, doesn't matter.  Right of way comes down to the last inch.  First there, gets right of way.  Second, waits.

So much these boys are going through today.  Yesterday, saying goodbye to a temporary life only to find themselves in an uncertain life today.  What have they done?  Have they made a mistake?
They have no idea that the sweetest and most loving brothers and sister await their return.  They have no idea that when the name calling and exclusion begins in America, they have brothers and a sister that will fight for them;  who will stand up for them.  And they now have parents who will go to the ends of the earth for them, and will unconditionally love them.  Bethany and I would do anything for these boys; any of our kids.  But these guys don't know that yet.  They do not fully understand, nor may they ever fully understand, to what extent they have been pursued.

Such is the life of His own.  And it is awesome!

We too have been pursued to an extent we cannot comprehend.  We just know that someone loves us, but not really sure why.  We understand it is for his glory, but me?  He must not know all of what I have done.  I come with as much baggage as a girl traveling for three days, or a dad traveling to China for ten.
But He says, "here, I'll take all of that.  I'm just glad to see you.  You are mine.  We'll deal with the baggage, but you...you are who I came for.  You are what I desire most."
That is crazy.  That doesn't make sense!  Until I adopt two teens from China who have seen and experienced more than I would like to know or mention.  But it doesn't disqualify you.  If anything, it over qualifies you. We'll deal with the baggage.  Just give it to me.  You are who I want.  You are who I desire. 
And the love is poured out.  Immensely and overflowing.  It is overwhelming and insatiable.  A light truly does come in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it.  And it is lovely.

The most beautiful thing happened yesterday.  Gary had surrendered his life to Christ back in February.  Willy has not.
I opened the Mandarin bible yesterday to John 3:16 and John 14:18.  I showed them to Gary and pointed to my heart and then to him.  I asked him if he remembers...and he does.  He said, "I remember".

Joe, the assistant director of the orphanage also surrendered his life to Jesus when he came to America in July.
He is on fire.  You can see it, and he can see it in me.  Praise God.  Isaiah ran to the mountain and met God there. He said, " I am the only one left!!"  And God said, "No you're not!!"  " I have preserved 7000 more just like you for my name!

Whoa!  I just passed the Arch De' Trione (spelling)  Full scale.  Said made in China.  That was weird.  Sorry....  Squirrel!

Anyway, Joe is not alone.  Neither are the American "English teachers" in the orphanage, or neither is Gary alone.  Peter, who surrendered his life to Christ in our home is not alone.  Please pray that they be comforted now by the Comforter himself.  Please pray that they be filled with power and further allow the conquering of their lives by the Father. 

There is an emptiness here.  Much like in America, but these people do not have nearly as much to substitute for the void.

Our driver and translator are not Christians.  As a matter if fact, our driver is....Hui!  I have been praying for these people and knew that I would not be able to reach any while I was here.  How wrong am I.  I must decrease, but He must increase.
Haha!!  I love this part. 

In arrogance, just calling it what it is, I decided to study Mandarin before I came to China.  I have had several people compliment my chinese I might add :).  But in honesty, I am terrible.  Very terrible at Mandarin.  While in America, I learned two verses in Mandarin.  John 3:16 and Luke 9:23. 
Confident, over confident, I recited these two verses to the boys with the driver and my translator in the car.  They all laughed!  They thought it was hysterical!  They almost couldn't even understand what I was trying to say!

And then the Holy Spirit showed up!! Haha!!!  Yes!  Enter Holy Spirit :)
The translator said, "let me see what you are trying to say."  I watched as the driver and the translator went through each word of John 3:16 correcting, translating, and unknowingly allowing the Holy Spirit to impress through their eyes and their mouths, through their minds, and prayerfully into their hearts the words that reveal that not all is lost.  A savior has come and he is in love with you.  You do not have to perish in your sin and emptiness.  There is a way.  There is only one way.  They call "the way" the Dao, but they don't even know what the Dao is.  And they just read it!!  The Son is the way to everlasting life!  There!  Problem solved!  You do not need to go to some Shaolin temple in the remote mountain tops of China, or recite the Dou Te Ching daily to pursue what you don't even know to exist. 

He is here, he comes for you, but you must believe.
*Sigh*... I sat back and watched how in my weakness, He becomes strong.  I am just a broken vessel meant to carry water so far, and then pour out into another life. 
Yet, in spite of me, He loves me, and again I'm reminding of my place at his feet.  And I worship.

We visited the Shao Lin temple today, where Kung Fu began!  I was like Po walking around just waiting for Tae Leng to come bounding at me over the roof tops.  It was awesome!  The boys loved it, but they got tired of all the walking. 
The mountains are right out of every Kung Fu movie you've seen.  They are astonishing.  Our God is so big to make these kinds of mountains. 

The history was everywhere.  Monks were everywhere.  I think Gary enjoyed it the most as he was so enamored by everything.

As we walked, our translator asked me, "how do you know the Tou Te Ching"?  I told her that I had read it.  She said that she never had and thought that was interesting.  We walked into the temple and all the idols from 1500 years ago had swastika on their chest.  Immediately I asked about the symbol, and she said it means never ending, everlasting.  We then walked to a picture of Sheva and Vishnu (hindu names) but called something different in Mandarin.  They had the same symbol and she couldnt remember the name.  I said, "yongsheng"?  She was surprised and said, yes!" 
She then asked, "how do you know about Buddhism". 
I told her that I study Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism. How I have read the Tao Te Ching, Bhagavad Gita, and how I have also been reading the Quran.  I told her that Buddha was originally a Hindu.  He found emptiness still in Hinduism and sought after Zen, which Taoism helps point to. 
Then the mother of all questions wa next.
"What do you think, believe?", she asked.
I believe that Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism are all trying to find something, the way, but have not found it.  Then I told her that Jesus said, "I AM THE WAY!! , the truth and the life.  No man comes to the father but through me."
She asked what dharma was and how it relates to karma.  I am not a Hindu or Buddhist, so I only spoke on what I knew, and explained the relationship as I understand it.

We walked, I played with the boys, we desecrated the temple by sliding down the granite and marble rails, over and over again.  We had a good time!
At the end if it all, as we walked back up to our driver, Danielle turned around, literally out of nowhere, and said, "our driver is Muslim.  He is Hui."
Assuming he lives in the Hui district, who is 98% Muslim, I asked if he lives there. 
"No", she said.
"I live in the Hui district, and I'm not even Hui.  I'm Han!"
The most successful attacks come in waves.  Please pray that families who are adopting will continue to speak with Danielle and our driver.  They need their savior and time is quickly slipping away.
What a successful and Spirit filled trip so far.
I have prayed and prayed for the Hui and knew in my finite wisdom that I would not be able to meet them. 
How wrong was I?

The seed has been planted.
I may not have scored the goal, but I'll count it as an assist.

The entire fruit is already present in the seed.
-Tertullian

Pray, pray, pray, and water the seed!

Doulos

Day 3 in China

 

Day 3

Lines, arrows, and street lights only exists in China to be compliant with some traffic code.  Apparently, they serve no other purpose.

Today, we went to the government office of civil affairs to sign two sheets of paper.  While we waited, we passed the time by "fake fishing" for Coy, throwing our gum as high as we could into the air and seeing who could catch it in their mouth, and playing the rock game (the game like jacks but played with only rocks).

From there, we went to Louyang to have the application for adoption notarized.  It was about a two hour drive from Zhengzhou.  We passed many people relieving themselves on the side of the road.  Choosing to be more civilized, we decided to use a public bathroom.  Wow! 

We decided to eat and walked into a restaurant that didn't look like a restaurant.  The man behind the counter only greeted us with one hand as the other was busy dislodging something way, way, WAY, up in his nose.  This too is apparently permissible behavior...

The food was good!  Reusable bamboo chopsticks from a communal bowl made the experience that much more authentic.  We met Joe, the assistant coordinator at the restaurant.  I love him so much!  He became a Christian while in America. He is so excited for the boys!!  He kept saying, "They go to Měiguó"!

 

He said that he loved Měiguó (America).  He pointed out the window to the grey smog filled sky and said that in America, the sky is always blue.  I take so much for granted.

 

We then went to Luoning Children's Institute to have a going away ceremony for the boys.  All of the other children were there and they were so beautiful!  As we walked the dark halls, and passed room after room of bunkbeds with bamboo covers, it hit me how good we have it.  The kids were very open to hugging, and one little guy didn't want me to put him down.  They have very good caretakers, but these little children are starved for affection and love. 

 

 

"Break my heart Lord for what breaks yours"

The boys said their tear filled goodbye's, and we left back for Zhengzhou.  I am certain in the good future of their lives, but they just have no idea.  They are now leaving a home, again, and starting over, again.
Uncertainty and instability have been the one constant in these boys lives.  They only have faith in that what this "father"is promising to give them is true.  We too have a Father who promises us a future...

 

We have a hope because of our faith in HIM. It is our prayer that our boys and all of our children can see the lived out example of such LOVE a Father has for His Children.