For those who are in full swing into the adoption world
adopting 2 boys at the same time is not a hard concept to comprehend. But for those who are fairly new into this
amazing world of adoption it can be a bit mind boggling to say the least!
Although Jon and I are not new to the “idea” of adoption, we
are new to the actual “act” of adoption.
We have grown leaps and bounds in the education of the adoption process
and all the terms that go along with it… especially for an international
adoption and a “Hague Convention Country” adoption. And if you are reading this
and have no idea what the “Hague Convention” is, Google it!
One thing you have to do in the adoption process is answer a
bazillion questions!! During the home study process you have to write an
autobiography. Below are a few snippets
from both of our autobiographies. The reason
I am sharing this is because we get asked, “have you really thought about this?”,
quite often. And it is totally fine that
people ask, but I do not think people realize how much goes into completing a
home study, Hague training (12+ hours), dossier, and then some. There is a lot of “thinking” that goes into
adoption and more importantly prayer.
Jon and I have been in prayer about adoption for over 6 years. That has not been public prayer but personal
and family prayer, as it should, as we have asked the Lord to guide us and
direct us clearly in the direction we should go regarding adoption.
These portions on our autobiography are answering questions
on our thoughts and personal experience with adoption and parents who place
their children over for adoption: (Disclaimer, these are our personal thoughts
and convictions on these topics.)
–Jon’s Autobiography:
“As I previously
explained, I adopted my oldest son Aaron from my wife’s previous marriage. I love Aaron as my own son, because he is my
own son. I have two biological kids and
it is crazy how I do not look at any of them any different. I am certain that there are reasons
biological parents give up their kids for adoption. It is difficult for me to think about the
parent’s situation first. I love
children, and know that it is imperative for a child to have a mom and dad who
loves them so very much. If we can make
a little more room in our family, and we can, for another child, we will love
this child just as our other children.
The love of Christ is just that good.
As Jason, our youngest, said the other day when he was asked about what
he thought about adoption, he said, “I don’t just like helping people, I like
keeping them.” God didn’t just like
helping me, he kept me, and continues to keep me. That is truly amazing. “
-Bethany’s
Autobiography:
“My personal
experience with adoption has been seeing my husband adopt Aaron, my son, as his
very own. He has loved him and cherished
him as if he were his dad since the day he was born. I had never witnessed that kind of love
before and it has been amazing to me!!
What an example of what God our father did for us! I know for us we
first thought about adopting a child after our daughter was born in 2004. We lost three babies due to miscarriages at
12 weeks. Our desire was to have more
children. We had heard about New Horizons
for Children through, Stephanie Shanks, who is our neighbor. We
looked into hosting but just did not feel that is was the right time in our
life for that. We also had gotten lots
of info about local adoptions and info on Bethany Christian services. We waited to go further in any process until
we were for sure it was God’s timing and not ours! I am so glad we waited for His timing. I did become pregnant again and we had our
sweet miracle boy JJ!! We still had
adoption on our hearts and knew it was still the thing for us to do but waited. This past year November 2012 we began looking
into New Horizons for Children…. Our heart was for “the least of these”. It was then Stephanie came over and told us about this new Asian
program. We were trilled and began
praying right away!! God has guided us
on this journey and we are so excited to where it has led! Praises beyond
words!!! My thoughts on parents who give
up their children are not judgmental, you never know what people are going
through. It has been in my experience
with a father (my ex) who gave up his parental rights, that not everyone is
capable of parenting for one reason or the other. It is though, our responsibility as believers
to do what Deuteronomy 27:19 and James 1:27 says.”
Now, you know a little about what is on our hearts, we knew
that adopting Gary was only the start of what the Lord was working on in our
lives. It was not clear as to the timing
on when we would adopt again, but we knew we would.
Psalm 37:4-7 4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Will God really give you the desires of your heart?? It all depends of what the “desires of your
heart” are? We read in verse 5 that it
says we must “commit our ways to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this.” Our ways must become His ways, our thoughts
His thoughts, our heart’s desires His heart’s desires… How must we do this “transforming
of our minds?” By getting to know our Father… through studying His word, you
learn His ways, you learn His character, and you learn His desires. By praying, you learn to hear His voice; even
in a whisper… it becomes louder than your screams! By submitting your life to Christ it is no
longer you, but Christ in you… therefore His thoughts become your thoughts and
His desires your desires. Read Romans 8,
Luke 9:23, Philippians 1:21, and Psalm 119:11
So now back to the topic of adopting TWO! Over the last two months there were several
things starting to happen that we became witness to. We were also made aware that Willy was no
longer being adopted. Willy is one of
two best friends that Gary has in the orphanage. Willy is several months older than Gary and
ages out this November! Our hearts were
torn and we began praying for God to lead a family to Willy. We were able to meet Willy when all the kids
landed at the Atlanta airport February 2, 2013…
Crazy as that first meeting was, Willy was the first boy I hugged and
greeted in Atlanta!
As we prayed for a family for Willy, the Lord was working on
our family’s heart. The reason I say
family is because adopting for us is family decision. Not just a Dad and Mom decision, but Kids
too! I really don’t know why, other than the Lord placing us there, that we
were involved in a “loop” of conversation that involved Willy and his “adoption
process” status. Seriously, the more I
try to figure out “why” we were involved in this I just can’t figure it out…
This was totally and only could be orchestrated by the Hand of our Father, who
looks after even the least of these!
Jon and I were asked to consider adopting Willy because we
were “paper ready”… We prayed and
prayed, and prayed! We prayed for doors to be shut in our face as we decided to
go through them. That if we pursued and
it was not God’s will for our family that our children would let us know. That three specific “doors of adoption”
process would be closed if this were a NO.
Guess what??? Our
kids were thrilled, I mean ALL kids were thrilled… even Gary! Those three doors have been held open with
God as the doorman. Jon and I looked at
each other and said, “We’re adopting Willy!”
