Thursday, September 19, 2013

Day 5... "Show me the money!"

Today is our last day in Zhengzhou.  We have a free day and walked around for a while, did a little bit of shopping, and came back to the room to watch Kung Fu movies.
The boys are very conscious of money and how much things cost.  On our very first day together, I gave  each of them 100 RMB each.  Wide eyed, they refused to take it as they have never had that much money, but I insisted and they kept it.  100¥ RMB is $16.33 USD.
Every time we eat, or I buy them something small, they want to use their money, instead of allowing me to pay for them.  I assure them that I will be paying for it, showing them that they are now provided for.
Today, we went to Walmart, China style.  It is basically an open air market with all kinds of live fish, crabs, and other oddities swimming around. Where most Walmarts have "pallet drops" of high fructose, preservative ridden treats, this Walmart has mounds and mounds of grains, meats, fruits, and Durian fruit.  I showed the boys the Durian fruit,  had them smell it, and they hated it!
I purchased three drinks, several packs of gum, and several things of candy to take back to Aaron, Rebecca, and JJ.  It came to.....116¥. The boys were going crazy that I would spend $18 on that stuff.  They wouldn't stop talking about it.  
It hit me that this is exactly what Phillippians 4:19 refers to when Paul says, "but my God will supply all your needs according to his riches  in glory by Christ Jesus".
God does not give out of his riches to us.  If that were the case, we would have missed the age out date for both of the adoptions as we just couldn't have had the money in time.  But he does not give us out of His riches, does he.  He is much more than that.  He provides according to His riches.  His riches are immense, innumerable, and he says, "see all I have?  It is yours.  For you are not paid servants, but my adopted children.  What is mine is yours."
The boys think that 100¥ is a lot?  They have no idea how they are going to be provided for, just as all five of our children. 
We have received so very little from what our Father can and wants to provide to us and we stand back with our mouths gaping, and in our minds and in our hearts, limit the powerful provision of God.
If the boys ask, I will tell them how much Home Depot pays me each year, and  it has a limit.  The funds abound in comparison to what they have known, but use too much and it runs out.
Not so with our Father.  His provision is endless.  Think what you will, but I am sitting in China right now with two boys God provided to us in a short six months, with two fully funded adoptions.  Don't tell me this is not God and this is all He can do.  This is nothing for Him.  He is that big, that great, that much beyond words. The only appropriate response at this point is on my knees, at his feet, giving honor and praise and glory to the God of it all.  
Only at this point have I reported for duty and aligned myself with the will of God.  

 "It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires which He creates” 
-Amy Carmichael
But, do not misinterpret what I write.  This is not blab it and grab it theology. "Trust God to provide and you get everything you ever wanted". Absolutely not.  But everything to Him and for Him forever and always.  Just as Watchman Nee said,

“I want nothing for myself;
I want everything for the Lord.”
-Watchman Nee

To serve the God who lives and breathes inside of me (Galatians 2:20) is to now allow what he has always intended, to benefit others through this servant, and He brings Himself the glory.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Day 4....A SEED & KUNG FU


Day 4

First one to get there has the right of way.  Car, truck, woman with child, doesn't matter.  Right of way comes down to the last inch.  First there, gets right of way.  Second, waits.

So much these boys are going through today.  Yesterday, saying goodbye to a temporary life only to find themselves in an uncertain life today.  What have they done?  Have they made a mistake?
They have no idea that the sweetest and most loving brothers and sister await their return.  They have no idea that when the name calling and exclusion begins in America, they have brothers and a sister that will fight for them;  who will stand up for them.  And they now have parents who will go to the ends of the earth for them, and will unconditionally love them.  Bethany and I would do anything for these boys; any of our kids.  But these guys don't know that yet.  They do not fully understand, nor may they ever fully understand, to what extent they have been pursued.

Such is the life of His own.  And it is awesome!

We too have been pursued to an extent we cannot comprehend.  We just know that someone loves us, but not really sure why.  We understand it is for his glory, but me?  He must not know all of what I have done.  I come with as much baggage as a girl traveling for three days, or a dad traveling to China for ten.
But He says, "here, I'll take all of that.  I'm just glad to see you.  You are mine.  We'll deal with the baggage, but you...you are who I came for.  You are what I desire most."
That is crazy.  That doesn't make sense!  Until I adopt two teens from China who have seen and experienced more than I would like to know or mention.  But it doesn't disqualify you.  If anything, it over qualifies you. We'll deal with the baggage.  Just give it to me.  You are who I want.  You are who I desire. 
And the love is poured out.  Immensely and overflowing.  It is overwhelming and insatiable.  A light truly does come in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it.  And it is lovely.

The most beautiful thing happened yesterday.  Gary had surrendered his life to Christ back in February.  Willy has not.
I opened the Mandarin bible yesterday to John 3:16 and John 14:18.  I showed them to Gary and pointed to my heart and then to him.  I asked him if he remembers...and he does.  He said, "I remember".



Joe, the assistant director of the orphanage also surrendered his life to Jesus when he came to America in July.
He is on fire.  You can see it, and he can see it in me.  Praise God.  Isaiah ran to the mountain and met God there. He said, " I am the only one left!!"  And God said, "No you're not!!"  " I have preserved 7000 more just like you for my name!

Whoa!  I just passed the Arch De' Trione (spelling)  Full scale.  Said made in China.  That was weird.  Sorry....  Squirrel!

Anyway, Joe is not alone.  Neither are the American "English teachers" in the orphanage, or neither is Gary alone.  Peter, who surrendered his life to Christ in our home is not alone.  Please pray that they be comforted now by the Comforter himself.  Please pray that they be filled with power and further allow the conquering of their lives by the Father. 



There is an emptiness here.  Much like in America, but these people do not have nearly as much to substitute for the void.

Our driver and translator are not Christians.  As a matter if fact, our driver is....Hui!  I have been praying for these people and knew that I would not be able to reach any while I was here.  How wrong am I.  I must decrease, but He must increase.
Haha!!  I love this part. 

In arrogance, just calling it what it is, I decided to study Mandarin before I came to China.  I have had several people compliment my chinese I might add :).  But in honesty, I am terrible.  Very terrible at Mandarin.  While in America, I learned two verses in Mandarin.  John 3:16 and Luke 9:23. 
Confident, over confident, I recited these two verses to the boys with the driver and my translator in the car.  They all laughed!  They thought it was hysterical!  They almost couldn't even understand what I was trying to say!

And then the Holy Spirit showed up!! Haha!!!  Yes!  Enter Holy Spirit :)
The translator said, "let me see what you are trying to say."  I watched as the driver and the translator went through each word of John 3:16 correcting, translating, and unknowingly allowing the Holy Spirit to impress through their eyes and their mouths, through their minds, and prayerfully into their hearts the words that reveal that not all is lost.  A savior has come and he is in love with you.  You do not have to perish in your sin and emptiness.  There is a way.  There is only one way.  They call "the way" the Dao, but they don't even know what the Dao is.  And they just read it!!  The Son is the way to everlasting life!  There!  Problem solved!  You do not need to go to some Shaolin temple in the remote mountain tops of China, or recite the Dou Te Ching daily to pursue what you don't even know to exist. 

He is here, he comes for you, but you must believe.
*Sigh*... I sat back and watched how in my weakness, He becomes strong.  I am just a broken vessel meant to carry water so far, and then pour out into another life. 
Yet, in spite of me, He loves me, and again I'm reminding of my place at his feet.  And I worship.

We visited the Shao Lin temple today, where Kung Fu began!  I was like Po walking around just waiting for Tae Leng to come bounding at me over the roof tops.  It was awesome!  The boys loved it, but they got tired of all the walking. 
The mountains are right out of every Kung Fu movie you've seen.  They are astonishing.  Our God is so big to make these kinds of mountains. 






The history was everywhere.  Monks were everywhere.  I think Gary enjoyed it the most as he was so enamored by everything.

As we walked, our translator asked me, "how do you know the Tou Te Ching"?  I told her that I had read it.  She said that she never had and thought that was interesting.  We walked into the temple and all the idols from 1500 years ago had swastika on their chest.  Immediately I asked about the symbol, and she said it means never ending, everlasting.  We then walked to a picture of Sheva and Vishnu (hindu names) but called something different in Mandarin.  They had the same symbol and she couldnt remember the name.  I said, "yongsheng"?  She was surprised and said, yes!" 
She then asked, "how do you know about Buddhism". 
I told her that I study Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism. How I have read the Tao Te Ching, Bhagavad Gita, and how I have also been reading the Quran.  I told her that Buddha was originally a Hindu.  He found emptiness still in Hinduism and sought after Zen, which Taoism helps point to. 
Then the mother of all questions wa next.
"What do you think, believe?", she asked.
I believe that Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism are all trying to find something, the way, but have not found it.  Then I told her that Jesus said, "I AM THE WAY!! , the truth and the life.  No man comes to the father but through me."
She asked what dharma was and how it relates to karma.  I am not a Hindu or Buddhist, so I only spoke on what I knew, and explained the relationship as I understand it.

We walked, I played with the boys, we desecrated the temple by sliding down the granite and marble rails, over and over again.  We had a good time!
At the end if it all, as we walked back up to our driver, Danielle turned around, literally out of nowhere, and said, "our driver is Muslim.  He is Hui."
Assuming he lives in the Hui district, who is 98% Muslim, I asked if he lives there. 
"No", she said.
"I live in the Hui district, and I'm not even Hui.  I'm Han!"
The most successful attacks come in waves.  Please pray that families who are adopting will continue to speak with Danielle and our driver.  They need their savior and time is quickly slipping away.
What a successful and Spirit filled trip so far.
I have prayed and prayed for the Hui and knew in my finite wisdom that I would not be able to meet them. 
How wrong was I?

The seed has been planted.
I may not have scored the goal, but I'll count it as an assist.

The entire fruit is already present in the seed.
-Tertullian

Pray, pray, pray, and water the seed!

Doulos

Day 3 in China

 
Day 3

Lines, arrows, and street lights only exists in China to be compliant with some traffic code.  Apparently, they serve no other purpose.

Today, we went to the government office of civil affairs to sign two sheets of paper.  While we waited, we passed the time by "fake fishing" for Coy, throwing our gum as high as we could into the air and seeing who could catch it in their mouth, and playing the rock game (the game like jacks but played with only rocks).

From there, we went to Louyang to have the application for adoption notarized.  It was about a two hour drive from Zhengzhou.  We passed many people relieving themselves on the side of the road.  Choosing to be more civilized, we decided to use a public bathroom.  Wow! 



We decided to eat and walked into a restaurant that didn't look like a restaurant.  The man behind the counter only greeted us with one hand as the other was busy dislodging something way, way, WAY, up in his nose.  This too is apparently permissible behavior...

The food was good!  Reusable bamboo chopsticks from a communal bowl made the experience that much more authentic.  We met Joe, the assistant coordinator at the restaurant.  I love him so much!  He became a Christian while in America. He is so excited for the boys!!  He kept saying, "They go to Měiguó"!
 


He said that he loved Měiguó (America).  He pointed out the window to the grey smog filled sky and said that in America, the sky is always blue.  I take so much for granted.
 


We then went to Luoning Children's Institute to have a going away ceremony for the boys.  All of the other children were there and they were so beautiful!  As we walked the dark halls, and passed room after room of bunkbeds with bamboo covers, it hit me how good we have it.  The kids were very open to hugging, and one little guy didn't want me to put him down.  They have very good caretakers, but these little children are starved for affection and love. 
 
 


"Break my heart Lord for what breaks yours"

The boys said their tear filled goodbye's, and we left back for Zhengzhou.  I am certain in the good future of their lives, but they just have no idea.  They are now leaving a home, again, and starting over, again.
Uncertainty and instability have been the one constant in these boys lives.  They only have faith in that what this "father"is promising to give them is true.  We too have a Father who promises us a future...
 
We have a hope because of our faith in HIM. It is our prayer that our boys and all of our children can see the lived out example of such LOVE a Father has for His Children.
 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Gotcha Day!!!!!!!

Day 2

Gotcha Day!!

The boys are here and they are now and forever Allen's.  Never again will they be abandoned.  They now belong.

I drove to the Zhengzhou government office today to fill out all of the paperwork.  
As I drove up to the building to give these boys new life, some person across the street was trying to end their's.  The firemen were taking someone down off the top of a building.  
John 1:5 says, the light had come into the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it.  It was so sad to see desperation lead someone to the top of a building.  All the while, two boys were right across the street receiving new life.

I cannot express the overwhelming joy of seeing my boys walk into the office.
Signature after signature, I became closer and closer  to adopting these boys.  It was amazing. 
Ironically, the custom in China is to stamp your fingerprint on top of your name.  It shows that even if you think there is any slight possibility that this isn't me...BAM!!  Here's my unique fingerprint, the one thing I have that no one else does, so that there is never any doubt that this is really me.  And the fingerprint, it was in red.

Christ came to redeem and to be our passover lamb.  He covers me in red. Any doubters, just pass on by because I am His!  Just look at his signature on my life and his stamp of red!  
God really used the adoptions today to show me that he has painstakingly marked me as His.  What an incredible truth!  Thank you Jesus!

If you think you are good with directions, come to China.  I am terrible with directions!  My only hope is that my guess will be bad enough to eventually get me to where I am going faster.  I am awful.  And that is in America!  Well, as a spark of genius, I announce to the boys that we are going exploring around this city.  300 million people in Henan Province, and they were all on the same roads we were today.  
I don't know how, but all of the Chinese characters started looking the same.  We headed down one street and ended up three streets over.

Lost, scared, curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and whimpering, the boys knew that it wasn't good for all Americans or myself to be seen in this situation for long...so they took charge!

Never have the boys been in Zhengzhou but they took The lead today.  They looked around, didn't panic, and guided us safely back to our hotel.  A street sense I never knew they had.
It really hit me that maybe this is to be expected from children in their situation.  These are the children who walk around outside all hours of the night, and parents don't care.  
These are the children to which those "things" that shouldn't happen to children, happen to.  And it broke my heart.

I see the Gary and Willy of today, not the Gary and Willy of the painful past.  But God does.  And he heals.  He closes open wounds, usually creating a scar to remind us and others of a time to learn from.
There is not a scar on my body that my kids have not asked, "How'd you get that one??"  And lovingly I respond, " that one there reminds me to never hold a lizard with teeth again, and that one there reminds me to never ride my bike into a tree again."

Please pray that God will begin to close wounds on these boys, so that they may tell others of times when all felt lost, but God,in His love, was sufficient.
I asked The boys today if they were scared.  They said, in decent English, "we're nervous".  

And so I pray that my boys will be able to live this quote;

“I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize that He is able to carry out His will for me. It does not matter where He places me, or how. That is for Him to consider, not me, for in the easiest positions He will give me grace, and in the most difficult ones His grace is sufficient.”
J. Hudson Taylor, missionary to China

Thank you for all of your prayers

Doulos

Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, September 14, 2013

DAY 1

Day 1

Hartsfield Jackson, check.
Check in, check.
Go through security...................................check.
Sitting at the gate.  Check
It is so hard to believe that I am actually on my way to China today.  It had been 6 months in the making, and so so so much has been completed to get this far.

And now it is just me, and my God who goes before me, with me, behind me, and all around me.  Felt alone, but actually anything but.

Deuteronomy 33 comes to mind as Moses said,
“There is no one like God,who rides across the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty."

Well boys, your God is riding across the heavens and on the clouds to come and help you today!
Why?  Because you are special to your God.  You have been hand selected  by your God who lavishly loves you.

He rescued me when I was orphaned and he rescues you. 

He even says,
"I will not abandon you as orphans!  I will come to you", -Jesus

Sin has separated us from our father and we have been orphaned.  But he comes to us, and adopts us into his family.  My hope is that God will show you through this acting out of the gospel, how he pursues you, and you need only to surrender to him.

Today, is the last day you live abandoned.  Tomorrow, your Redeemer steps into the field to meet you, and brings you into His home. 

Feeling so much like John in Revelations right now, I get a front row seat to watch our God's magnificence at work!  Awesome!!

I love you boys.

Dad

Monday, September 2, 2013

Just tryin' to breathe...

Article 5 APPROVED and picked up by the CCCWA on August 30th...and now TRAVEL APPROVAL should be this week!!!  I can hardly write those words without DANCIN'!!  We have been given tentative travel dates and my heart is just racing!!  WHOOOOO- Our boys are going to be here so soon!
We had sent Gary and Willy cameras to be taking pictures of whatever they want. Pictures of their friends, family, and of what they have called home for their entire 13 years of life.

Some people when they think of adoption get all excited about the "new addition" to their family and they forget that it comes with a price... not the actual $$ for the adoption, but the cost of our boys leaving all that is familiar, all that is comfortable, and everything they've called home.  They have to let go of a life to start a new one.  This is all a natural part of adoption, especially of older children, but it should be never looked upon as an easy adjustment, or something "the child just has to overcome."  They will morn their once familiar lives as they begin new ones.  We, as the Allen family, will go through a since of loss as well as we learn what a new normal is.  We have to learn "a new groove" as we start to fall into the swing of life.  Our children will find new roles and have to learn how to adjust to the new norm.  Adoption comes with a price, there is a loss of the life that once was "normal", to enter into a life of newness and hope....

We learn this, by no greater example, than by our Father in Heaven and His son... He adopted us and there was a price.  There was a death of a life to bring new life.  For us to become children of His Majesty, we have to surrender our old lives that we found so familiar, to gain a new life of hope. Learning to live as adopted heirs brings a time of change, adjustment, and growth.  And while all this is for the best and perfect glory of our God, it is not always easy.  It is not always fun.  But oh the joy to be apart of HIS family!  A family that brings everlasting life, brings hope.. It brings rest and a comfort that is like no other, a peace- more wonderful than the human mind can understand!

I ask that you please pray for our family as we go through all the joys and changes that come along with adoption. And pray that all of our lives will bring glory to God.

Ephesians 1:3-8
 
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.[b] He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

Luke 9:23

23 Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.

 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

5 months gone...


                                      
So, today marks the FIVE month mark of when Gary and Willy went back to China.  Five months seems to have flown by, but at the same time has moved by minute by minute and hour by hour. Or really more like paper work, signatures, check writing, email checking, finger prints, medical checks, authentications, certified copies, sealed documents, stamped, tracked, notarized, and approvals...This all has kept our bodies busy, but our minds and hearts yearning for our boys! While today we were hoping for our I800 approvals, we did get a "provisional approval", which I am so happy to hear any words the have "approval" in it!  SO I am singing songs of praises!
We have also been made aware that just because we have gotten our LOA's, we are still not in the clear!  Guangzhou, the Department of State in China, still has the ultimate and final say of "Yay or Nay" on our adoption!!
This gives more room for God to display HIS GLORY!  To make the impossible-POSSIBLE!  Please continue your prayers and songs of praise till we have our precious sons in our arms!

 
 
ALL THIS GLORY
In the middle of the mess, there is majesty
In the middle of my chest, is the King of Kings
While the world was waiting on
A change to come along
Light broke in
Coming like a song

All this glory
All this glory
All this glory
In the middle of the night, all this light
In the middle of the night, all this light here

In the middle of the night, You are majesty
To the middle of our plight, came the King of Kings
While we were waiting on, Your love to come along
Light broke in
Coming like a Son

All this glory
All this glory
All this glory
All this glory
In the middle of the night, all this light
In the middle of the night, all this light
In the middle of the night, all this light
In the middle of the night, after all is quiet

Jesus, God with us
Jesus Christ has come, and I'm undone
Jesus, God with us
Jesus Christ has come, and I'm undone

All this glory
All this glory
All this glory
All this glory
Here

Jesus, God with us
Jesus Christ has come, and I'm undone
Jesus, God with us
Jesus Christ has come, and love has won